1 year tumor free!!!

One year ago today I went in for my brain surgery.   That was a horrible day and the start to some horrible weeks.  I did not want to go through with the surgery, I was so angry that I decided to do the MRI and found out about the tumor.  That terrible and scarey morning a year ago while driving to the hospital all I wanted to do was run away and not go through with it.  But, I did go through with it.  I knew it had to be done and I'm so so glad I did it and got it over with.  Today I am doing amazing!!  Things have gone good this past year.  I refuse to let my dizziness and lack of balance stop me from doing the things I love.  I was able to rockclimb, I rode all the rollercosters at Lagoon and only got a little sick :) and I went on lots of hikes with a heavy kid on my back.  Although it is difficult to walk on such uneven ground and I have to really concentrate on where I step, I could still do it and have fun.  I was able to go canyoneering and things went really good!!!  We did two difficult canyons it was harder than normal but I was able to get through and have fun doing it.  I haven't tried skiing yet, I'm nervous because it makes me so dizzy just to shovel snow, it is very disorienting to be surrounded by all white.  I am anxious to try it.

I have healed as much as I think I will from this surgery.  Notice my very even smile in the pictures above and my non droopy face :)  I am learning to deal with being deaf, I find I don't like being in groups anymore, it is just too hard to hear.  Often I would rather stay home than go to a party, but I am forcing myself to be social.  I haven't had any taste return and I don't think it ever will. The ringing in my ear will stay forever, it doesn't bother me too much anymore. 

I am so grateful to be a year past this, I am so thankful to be able to be home being a mom to my kids.  Thank you to everyone who helped me and my family get through this.  Everything that everyone did for us meant so much to us.  Thank you

9 weeks post surgery

I am 9 weeks out and am doing great.  I had my post op appointments with the two surgeons a couple weeks ago.  They said I look great and released me to do anything I want now.  I won't see them again for 5 years when I go back for an MRI to make sure it hasn't grown back.  I have been driving since about 4 weeks post op.  It was difficult at first to turn my head back and forth but I am fine now.   My face is back to normal, I am really excited about that!  I thought it would take a lot longer to heal.  I am still dizzy but I am kind of used to it and don't notice it until I bump into a wall or stumble.  I am planning on hiking over springbreak in two weeks,  I hope it goes okay.  Besides the dizziness I am still dealing with some pain on my incision and it is very itchy,  I still can't sleep on my right side.  The last couple of nights I have slept on it and get woken up with a sharp shooting pain deep in my ear.  My right ear is still numb on the top half.  I am having a hard time with being deaf on the right side, it is so hard to hear what people are saying if there is any other noise in the room.  I get so sick of asking "What?"  I still have ringing in my ear and it will probably never go away, sometimes it gets so loud it's hard to pay attention to anything else.  I also feel extremely scatter brained, I forget things very easily.  I didn't have this problem before, I wonder if it is a side effect from the tumor being stuck on my brain?  Hmmm, I hope it gets better.  I don't have any taste on the right side of my tongue.  At first food tasted bad,  I couldn't taste anything sweet so when I ate sweet things they tasted salty and really gross, eventually I lost all my taste and can't taste anything on that side. I had a very strong metallic taste on my the right side of my tongue it was kind of sour feeling and would get so bad it would wake me up sometimes.  It has mostly gone away now only happening every once in  a while and I found that sucking on a peppermint candy helps.  Food still tastes a little off and not nearly as strong as it should.  I hope my taste will come back.  I am feeling so good although I still get very tired and worn out,  I am hoping to go canyoneering in the next few months.  That is my goal I am working toward,  If I can handle a weekend of canyoneering then I can handle anything!

I'm alive!!!

I cannot believe it's been 3 weeks.  I am doing so much better.  Nick went back to work last Monday and my mom spent the days at my house all last week.  I don't have any nausea anymore and I don't have much pain either.  I am still very dizzy but I can tell that it is getting better also.  I feel like my face is also getting better.  My eye doesn't bother me as much or get dried out like it used to.  I used to have a hard time falling asleep because I couldn't keep my eyelid shut, but that doesn't happen anymore.  I can move my nose better and my smile doesn't look quite as crazy as it did for a little while there.  I feel almost like myself again.  I am still not driving mostly because I get so dizzy when I turn my head back and forth.  I also still get very worn out easily.  We had my family over for Claira's birthday party on Sat. night, I was a little nervous at how I would handle all the noise and chaos that comes with having 26 people over 12 of them young kids but I was fine.  I guess the constant noise from my 6 kids has gotten me used to it.  It was fun to have everyone over.  I am always frustrated with my loss of hearing in my right ear.  Everything sounds so different and quiet.  It is very confusing not being able to tell where sound comes from.  I also have ringing in that ear, it drives me nuts sometimes.  My ear is feeling more normal but still at times feels like it's stuffed up. It feels like I have water in it and my voice echos in my head when I talk sometimes.  I am trying to be patient I know eventually I will get used to it.   I am on my own today with the kids and so far it's going just fine.  It feels good to be mom again.  Thank you everyone for all your concern and prayers.  I feel so blessed, this recovery has gone quicker and better than I had prepared myself for.   And thank you to everyone for the meals, yummy treats, sweet cards and messages and for shoveling our snow for us.  Thank you everyone! 

Weekend 2

Steph has been doing good the past few days. I feel like I've typed that before. I probably won't be updating this blog now as often unless something different happens.
She did get pretty dizzy today (Monday) but I think it is because she is really doing a lot more now. She still didn't need any prescription meds. She couldn't feel her ear before but she said she can feel it now.
Her face is continuing to get worse. It is just a little bit at a time. It is really just a waiting game on how much more paralysis she will get in her face. She really feels self conscious about how her face looks so I hope it doesn't get much worse. I think it is cute though.

Thursday and Friday Week 2

Steph has been doing so well the past couple of days. She is still pretty dizzy when she walks around but she gets some relief when she is sitting down and doesn't move her head. She washed her hair for the first time on Thursday. We just made sure to not scrub close to the incision and just let the soapy water run over it.
We just We went to the store for the first time and Steph was worried about getting dressed. I told her she wouldn't be the only one in her PJs but she refused and got into jeans and boots. We counted 7 people in PJs in the 30 minutes that we were there.
Her face continues to get a little less controlled. The right side eye lid won't close all the way and her smile is just a little bit off. She won't let me post a picture of her face, she said she looks to crazy without makeup and her hair done.
She has to put eye drops in every 2 hours. The eye drops and ibuprofen for swelling is all she is taking now. She hasn't needed the pain meds for the last few days. She didn't like taking them anyway because it made her just feel gross. It did help with the pain though. 

Thursday morning week 2

Steph has been doing well the past few days. Tuesday we went to the doctor and she said it looks like the redness in her throat is just from the breathing tube they use during surgery. So no Strep, which was great news. Steph came in to the pharmacy with me to pick up some other stuff. Afterwards she slept for a few hours. When she does a lot of work it seems to wipe her out and make her head hurt. She didn't get up much on Wednesday because she was not feeling up to it, probably because of all the walking we did at the Doctor's office and pharmacy and the driving around the day before. She started feeling better Wed. night and ate a pretty good dinner. She was feeling well enough that she skipped her pain meds that were scheduled for the middle of the night and early morning.

Monday, week 2

Monday has gone alot better than last monday! Steph has been getting more of an appetite. She still doesn't eat very much but she has an appetite now. She even had me take her to arctic circle for a reeses pb cup shake and then to subway for a cold cut trio. She hasn't had as much nausea today as the past week. She has wanted to get up more and get around so it will help her brain figure things out quicker. We went for a little walk on the sidewalk just in front of the house. We went back and for and that was long enough but Steph said it seems to help to breathe the cold air. She sleeps for a few hours after we do the walks. It really takes it out of her.
We also have the kids home tonight for the first time. They have been having sleepovers at grandmas house after dinner the past few nights. Steph loves having them around.. She has even been reading books to them.
I'm not going to get too excited because it reminds me of how she was doing so well on Wednesday last week and then Thursday was the worst day for her. I'm crossing my fingers it doesn't go backwards tomorrow.
The bad news is that Steph has had a sore throat that keeps getting worse over the last few days. It kind of looks like she might be getting strep throat. We messaged her doctor to see if maybe its just from the breathing tube they use during surgery but I don't think it is. Guess we will find out when we go to the doctor's office tomorrow.